February 17, 2010 - Michael had a conversation with his boss and a colleague that changed our life. Things had been hard in his job for almost a full year - with ups and downs; days of encouragement and days of discouragement. But on that day everything changed. Our departure became eminent and our world was spinning.
In the days that followed we cried, we prayed, we took some time away, we cried some more, we sought counsel and shortly there after Michael resigned from his job.
We were wronged. We were hurt. We were disillusioned. We were confused.
But . . .God was gracious. God was loving. God was GOOD. God's people were gracious. God's people were loving. God's people were good.
It was hard to imagine healing or to even be interested in the healing process, but we saw glimmers of hope that in time God would heal our hearts; our lives; and our family.
February 17, 2011 - As the day approached all kinds of emotions welled up inside of me. We were still hurting, but God's provision was overwhelming. We had a sick child; Michael was living in Chicago and the girls and I were living in central IL. We were trying desperately to buy a house, get our daughter healthy, and move on with our life. The week surrounding the "anniversary" was hard. I cried more. It was easy to blame all the hard things in our life on the events of the past year. I wanted to place blame, I wanted to lash out.
But . . . God was gracious. God was loving. God was Good. God's people were gracious. God's people were loving. God's people were good.
February 16, 2012 - The phone rang. Someone who had been significantly involved in our previous situation called to apologize. Not just to Michael, but to me!! Tears flowed. He had no idea that he was calling so close to the anniversary of "the conversation". The apologize was genuine, real, gut-wrenching, and accepted.
Forgiveness was granted. The wounds were healing.
February 2013 - Dear friends in ministry were in the middle of a terribly difficult situation that mirrored ours in many ways (I've written a blog post about it, but for their sake am waiting until more time passes to post it.) As February 17 approached emotions were stirred. There was pain, but it wasn't as much. There was anger, but it wasn't as much. There was more hope than before.
February 17, 2014 - the day came and went without any notice. I didn't fear the day with dread. There was no anger, no pain, no hurt. Time is moving forward; my heart is healing. Now instead of this day being a day I dread and lament with only memories of hurt, anger, and betrayal; the day can be a celebration of the life of my niece that began on that very day in 2010. I worried that year that her birthday would always be shrouded in sadness for me. But this year it was not - praise the Lord, who is the healer of broken hearts.
We bear a scar from the experience, which will always be with us. And I'm sure like all scars will sometime in the future expose another layer of healing that need to happen. But for now, I sing for praise that my God has used his character, his people, and time to heal my wound!
