Success & Failures

This experiment was a failure:

It was my attempt at one of our most favorite breakfasts - bundt pan rolls.  The second attempt was a little better . . . but not much.  It was discouraging.  This was my first absolute failure in gluten free baking.  They don't look bad, but the taste was awful - it was more than that gritty taste that gluten free food often leaves in your mouth.  It was just bad.

This experiment was a success & a failure:

These are suppose to be hamburger buns.  Something went wrong with the rising & baking, but I'm here to tell you this was the absolute most delicious tasting bread I've ever made.  So I'll keep working on it - we'll tweak it until we get it.  For now I just put these in the toaster and then spread butter & my mom's homemade raspberry jam on them!!

NOW - this experiment was a success - from start to finish . . . .

GLUTEN FREE GOLDFISH CRACKERS!  BG has only cried for a few food items - goldfish is one of them.  I think I'll be baking these on a weekly basis.  I found the recipe here through The Tasty Kitchen website.  I substituted Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free All Purpose Flour and Xanthum Gum for the wheat flour in this recipe.  Everyone in the house loved them! 

Here's to more successes and less failures in my kitchen!

Cravings

There's an email floating around Facebook that invites women to post a cryptic status update that might sound like an announcement of a pregnancy.  It's suppose to be a fun game and raise breast cancer awareness.  (Although I'm not exactly sure how being "    weeks and craving        " relates to breast cancer.)  I have to admit that the first time I saw it show up in a  update, I was shocked and came very close to offering my congratulations in a comment to my FB friend.  It wasn't long until I saw a similar status from another friend, then another, then another, and so on.  At that point I still hadn't received "the email" but I had figured out it was a game of some sort.

I was bothered by the posts.  You see, I wish I really was 8 weeks and craving fudge.  (That's what my status would be if I played along.)  But I'm not and it's not a game to me.  I don't feel like I have the freedom to talk about my struggles to conceive since I already have two healthy children.  Many would have the tendency to remind me of this, in the name of encouragement.  I know that's true.  I am daily thankful for the two blessings God has given me - I do not take it for granted that their conception was miraculous.

If I find these posts upsetting - what must they be like for my sisters who have never conceived a baby?  Do all these posts popping up as status updates pierce their souls? 

I have no problem rejoicing with my girlfriends when they learn of the life growing inside of them.  My excitement is genuine and heart-felt.  But these posts are deceptive - they make it seem like pregnancy is to be taken lightly; treated like a game. 

I'm not articulating my feelings well, but I am trying to process it all.  There's alot to process.  There's all the feelings inside of me.  Then there's the whole facebook thing - it is a public forum where free speech is promoted daily.  I made the choice to be a member of the social network.  I don't have to read status updates - what others want to say and what games they want to play is their own business.

So many times the posts of others have given me pause and caused me to consider my posts with great caution.  This is just another one of those times.

Gluten Free Preschool

My older daughter started preschool this week.  It's hard to say who was more excited - me or her!  It's our first back to school since the Celiac diagnosis.  I called the preschool director in July to let her know about the implications of gluten free snack time.  At the parents' orientation meeting Mrs. H & I talked about BG's disease and gluten free snack options; we discussed it again at the parent/student open house.

The preschool has agreed to provide gluten free snacks for all children on a daily basis.  (On pretzel day BG will get GF pretzels and the others will eat regular ones.)  On the days when a child's birthday is being celebrated the child gets to choose a "special" snack for the entire class.  The choices include: Oreos, Chips Ahoy, Packaged Rice Krispie Treats, or Fruit Snacks.  I agreed to provide GF Oreos and Chocolate Chip Cookies.  On days the honoree chooses Krispie Treats, BG will get something else.  The fruit snacks will be gluten free.  BG has been briefed on these decisions.

All was well . . . .

Preschool gets out at 11:30; I picked BG up on Day 2 and we head home.  Before we even arrive home, my phone rings.  On the other end is Mrs. H.  She's clearly upset and proceeds to tell me that "a mistake was made at preschool today."  The short story is that BG was served regular pretzels during snack time.  I won't go into their explanation of what happened and why, but it is fair to say Mrs. H was clearly rattled and promised it would never happen again.  She even called again the following day to check on my daughter.

I tried to be gracious on the phone.  The truth of the matter is that gluten ingestion does not threaten my daughter's life.  It's like feeding her poison - the effects are long term.  Celiac Disease is linked to all kinds of long term, life altering medical problems.  So the only immediate effect of a few regular pretzels at snack time is a tummy ache for my baby.  I know that extending grace was the right thing to do.  It was an honest mistake that could have been made by anyone.  It won't be the last time that BG ingests gluten in her lifetime.  I don't want to become known as "one of those moms"; I want to trust the school; I want to trust my daughter.

Since that time though, I have to admit I have several less than gracious moments in my mind.  I've wondered if this is going to happen again.  Are they taking BG's disease seriously?  Was I firm enough in my communication of the importance of this?  Are all the staff communicating with each other effectively?  Should I have reacted more strongly?  There's a battle in my mind.

It's a fine line - - trusting the Lord, letting my daughter live her life and fulfilling my roll as her protector.  I spent hours researching food, changing our eating, and navigating gluten free living.  I cling tightly to God's sovereignty and I believe with all my heart he has my first born in his sights.  He has the ability to prevent the gluten from even affecting her body - he can work miracles like that!!

These struggles will likely continue as long as she lives under my roof.  For now she and I have talked about it and she knows that it is always okay to ask an adult if what she's eating is gluten free.  She knows the adults have her best interest in mind, but that they sometimes make mistakes.  We both love the preschool and the teachers and we'll all move forward from here.