Success & Failures

This experiment was a failure:

It was my attempt at one of our most favorite breakfasts - bundt pan rolls.  The second attempt was a little better . . . but not much.  It was discouraging.  This was my first absolute failure in gluten free baking.  They don't look bad, but the taste was awful - it was more than that gritty taste that gluten free food often leaves in your mouth.  It was just bad.

This experiment was a success & a failure:

These are suppose to be hamburger buns.  Something went wrong with the rising & baking, but I'm here to tell you this was the absolute most delicious tasting bread I've ever made.  So I'll keep working on it - we'll tweak it until we get it.  For now I just put these in the toaster and then spread butter & my mom's homemade raspberry jam on them!!

NOW - this experiment was a success - from start to finish . . . .

GLUTEN FREE GOLDFISH CRACKERS!  BG has only cried for a few food items - goldfish is one of them.  I think I'll be baking these on a weekly basis.  I found the recipe here through The Tasty Kitchen website.  I substituted Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free All Purpose Flour and Xanthum Gum for the wheat flour in this recipe.  Everyone in the house loved them! 

Here's to more successes and less failures in my kitchen!

Gluten Free Preschool

My older daughter started preschool this week.  It's hard to say who was more excited - me or her!  It's our first back to school since the Celiac diagnosis.  I called the preschool director in July to let her know about the implications of gluten free snack time.  At the parents' orientation meeting Mrs. H & I talked about BG's disease and gluten free snack options; we discussed it again at the parent/student open house.

The preschool has agreed to provide gluten free snacks for all children on a daily basis.  (On pretzel day BG will get GF pretzels and the others will eat regular ones.)  On the days when a child's birthday is being celebrated the child gets to choose a "special" snack for the entire class.  The choices include: Oreos, Chips Ahoy, Packaged Rice Krispie Treats, or Fruit Snacks.  I agreed to provide GF Oreos and Chocolate Chip Cookies.  On days the honoree chooses Krispie Treats, BG will get something else.  The fruit snacks will be gluten free.  BG has been briefed on these decisions.

All was well . . . .

Preschool gets out at 11:30; I picked BG up on Day 2 and we head home.  Before we even arrive home, my phone rings.  On the other end is Mrs. H.  She's clearly upset and proceeds to tell me that "a mistake was made at preschool today."  The short story is that BG was served regular pretzels during snack time.  I won't go into their explanation of what happened and why, but it is fair to say Mrs. H was clearly rattled and promised it would never happen again.  She even called again the following day to check on my daughter.

I tried to be gracious on the phone.  The truth of the matter is that gluten ingestion does not threaten my daughter's life.  It's like feeding her poison - the effects are long term.  Celiac Disease is linked to all kinds of long term, life altering medical problems.  So the only immediate effect of a few regular pretzels at snack time is a tummy ache for my baby.  I know that extending grace was the right thing to do.  It was an honest mistake that could have been made by anyone.  It won't be the last time that BG ingests gluten in her lifetime.  I don't want to become known as "one of those moms"; I want to trust the school; I want to trust my daughter.

Since that time though, I have to admit I have several less than gracious moments in my mind.  I've wondered if this is going to happen again.  Are they taking BG's disease seriously?  Was I firm enough in my communication of the importance of this?  Are all the staff communicating with each other effectively?  Should I have reacted more strongly?  There's a battle in my mind.

It's a fine line - - trusting the Lord, letting my daughter live her life and fulfilling my roll as her protector.  I spent hours researching food, changing our eating, and navigating gluten free living.  I cling tightly to God's sovereignty and I believe with all my heart he has my first born in his sights.  He has the ability to prevent the gluten from even affecting her body - he can work miracles like that!!

These struggles will likely continue as long as she lives under my roof.  For now she and I have talked about it and she knows that it is always okay to ask an adult if what she's eating is gluten free.  She knows the adults have her best interest in mind, but that they sometimes make mistakes.  We both love the preschool and the teachers and we'll all move forward from here.

For Life

Our first born was recently diagnosed w/ Celiac Disease.  The diagnosis has many implications for our family and has rocketed me through a variety of emotions.  The events leading up to the diagnosis were a roller coaster of doctors appointments, x-rays, blood tests, and an outpatient procedure at Children's  Hospital.  I'm still processing alot of things, but one thing has really struck me this week.

As a result of the Celiac Disease, our daughter cannot tolerate any gluten - found in wheat, rye, & barely.  We have decided that as a family, our home will be gluten free.  We want our daughter to feel loved, secure, and safe in our home.  This decision has made for alot of changes in our home.  First was the decontamination of our kitchen. Obviously anything with wheat, barley, or rye went out the door.  We gave away flour, pasta, crackers, & cereals.  The less obvious was the removal of anything in our kitchen that might be harboring gluten.  Suspect was anything that was cracked or porous.  Pampered Chef agreed to exchange all my bake ware that was plastic & stone.  I have new spatulas, wooden spoons, and baking pans. 

Next came learning a whole new way of cooking.  Someone gave us a bread machine.  This act of love completely overwhelmed me.  I am learning which flours we like for which recipes.  Who knew there were so many flours out there:  white rice, brown rice, quinoa, amaranth, almond, tapioca, sorghum - - just to name a few.  We've found pasta we like, bagels that are a great substitute, and fish sticks that the girls will devour.  We're finding our way in gluten free living.

Back to what struck me this week . . . . . . this new way of living isn't a fad or just simply a diet.  This is our new way of life.  We won't achieve our desired weight and then return to our old way of eating.  There will be no "cheating" - as that could make her very sick.  Unlike some (but not all) with food allergies, she won't outgrow this - never.  She has a genetic autoimmune disease which she will have for life, and could quite possibly pass on to her children.  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this.  For life - I know that in light of eternity, it's not really that long . . .just the blink of an eye.  But right now, for life seems like an eternity. 

Speaking of eternity . . . . she recently asked Jesus into her heart, which means she'll spend eternity in Heaven where God has promised her a meal at his banquet table.  I hope there's a big sticky bun waiting for her there!!!!!

This is her after the endoscopy that had to be performed in order to confirm her diagnosis.